Right at the end of the telephone conversation my son, who
clearly had not been relishing telling me, announced:
‘N’s father has decided not to give presents this year, so
we’ve decided the same. Are you OK with this?’
‘No presents?’ I heard myself repeat in a voice choked with
disbelief, ‘What? No Christmas presents? Christmas won’t be Christmas without
presents….’
‘Well,’ he struggled to find something with which to mollify
his spoilt mother, ‘maybe think about it and talk it over with M? We’re all
skint anyway, so it’s a great help.’ He added little more in this vein other
than to leave it to me to break the idea to his grandmother and uncle.
Much to my amazement, the other members of my very small
family were in agreement. Well, at least the male members were. At eighty six the matriarch of us is very
frail now, and it was felt that we must of course give presents to her. At this point I should explain that we have
no children in our family and the youngest of us is thirty five, so Christmas
has become a much less exciting time of year than it might be for larger
families. Its religious significance is also rather lost on us, and we are
simply left with days in which good food is planned around odd medical
conditions and shortage of funds, the hope that none of us falls ill and the
exchange of… well… presents.
I am sorry to say, none of us is keen to give the money we
might save to good causes. This has already been done for us by a rather
sanctimonious aunt, who when she died left hundreds of thousands of pounds to
good causes. We were all slightly miffed by this, and as a result whilst we do
what we can for charity shops and poppy sellers, it ends there.
But this article is not about the virtues or failings of our
attitudes to charity. I am relating the story because of an unexpected
side effect, and this is the relief we have all felt at having the burden of
Christmas-present-buying removed from us. It is quite extraordinary how much
more enjoyable these weeks before Christmas become when life is so much
simpler. There is time to stand around and listen to Christmas carols, brass
bands and general merry-making in the town. Time to talk to shopkeepers about
how they are doing, to sympathise and agree with what is happening to them. I
have time to make (knit) some presents for well-deserving people, and to write
letters which contain more news and opinions, and less ‘annual tripe’ than
usual. I’m not dreading writing out my Christmas cards, and the planning of
meals is a far more relaxed and agreeable task.
In a way, this Christmas-without-presents is an experiment.
If we hate it, we can revert to a ‘normal’ Christmas next time. I am not sure
we will, because I’m feeling a great deal more ‘Christmas Spirit’ by
concentrating on the things which really matter at this time: taking time to
talk, to listen and to love one’s family and friends. They won’t be with us
forever.
Season’s Greetings!
